Dear Mr Skatestopper,
Six years ago you patented a device to act as a deterrent to skateboarders - those ugly little moulded chunks of metal they fix to the edges of blocks, benches and handrails that make them unskateable.You called it the Skatestopper (we call them Nazi Knobs). Now then, you've done pretty well from this little venture. In fact, Intellicept is now quite a successful company. You have obviously become very good at doing a bad thing, you have profited from taking away fun and freedom. So, I have a few things I'd like to clear up with you...
Firstly, I'd like to remind you of the old t-shirt slogan 'Skateboarding is not a crime'. Never a truer word said I reckon. It happens to be one of the best recreational activities a kid could take up, and not one that should be outlawed. A sport that teaches you discipline, improves co-ordination, balance and spacial awareness, not to mention the fitness benefits, which in a world of increasing childhood obesity can't be a bad thing. It keeps kids out of trouble and free from boredom (probably the number one cause of vandalism in the world). So what if we scratch up a few curbstones along the way, hardly sacred objects are they?
It's not our fault either that councils and local authorities fail to build adequate facilities for us. If they do, then they are usually on the outskirts of town in some dodgy ghetto. Hardly a place you relish visiting on a weekly basis. But I realise that you probably aren't interested in all that stuff. I mean, have you ever offered any alternative? has your company ever put any of its profits back into skateboarding? or ever done anything positive for mankind? I doubt it. Why not apply your knowledge of metals to better use for goodness sakes?
Anyways, we just wanted you to know that all of those Skatestoppers you've already installed around the world, guess what, there's an army of us out there now removing them all, one by one. Sledgehammers, chisels, welding kits and crowbars we'll use whatever it takes. We even know the websites where you can buy those 'anti-tamper' hex tools you use to bolt them on. Pretty soon they'll all be gone and the authorities will get sick of the expense of replacing them over and over again. Soon you will be forced to re-think your business model.
It's simple, people will always want to skateboard, and we will skate whenever and wherever we want to, and people like you who try to dampen our passions will always fail. Give up, you ain't going to win. We will not be stopped.